This American Lie

is this creatively wasting my time?

Scrupulous, brilliant, and if necessary quite ruthless! this is what i think of when i see an octopus. so silent, so methodical. January 27, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — thisamericanlie @ 1:56 am
i never ever ever ever ever thought I would draw representation of my mom and dad doing it.

more like CRAPTION. hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

So I heard from someone or for somewhere that birds use cigarette butts to build their nests. This makes me wonder if the nicotine from the butts is leached into the eggs of the chicks and that maybe baby birds are born with a horrible addiction to cigarettes. Then I was thinking of how cool a pigeon would looks smoking a pall mall. And now im thinking about how delicious tachos are, those are tater tot nachos.

 

FIRST TITTLE and i misspelled title. but im not going to correct it at all. thats just the way i am, ill let that one slide. its a funny typo anyway. January 18, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — thisamericanlie @ 11:47 pm
my friend was really angry a lot of the time, but i think it was fake anger. fanger.

i would sometimes bring whiskey to him and he would drink it with straight in one of those giant 44 ounce cups they sold.

this guy has provided so many amazing one liners in my life and I probably should have written them down but I never did. I can almost promise that most of these comic things I do will have his face in it somewhere. I dont want to put his name down because he might pull another knife on me. In his defense it was a rather small knife, and I had just pulled a broom stick on him earlier. We end up fighting and hating each other for months at a time but then we remember how much horrible fun we have together and hug and drink and curse and smoke and commit acts of  general asshole-ery. THAT IS A VERB. assholery.

 

January 8, 2010

at least i didn't go home with a fat chick. EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

My friend left after a whopping two whole minutes of looking for me. People even told him I was on the roof. PEOPLE KNEW I WAS ON THE ROOF. I broke the rain gutters trying to climb up there. Yes I did climb that roof with 40’s taped to my hands. Yes that was a very very dumb idea. But that isn’t the point is it? The point is that half the party knew that I had climbed onto the roof to play hide n seek and no one came looking for me. NO ONE. my friends are a bunch of asshats.

It was the best nights sleep I ever had.

It was also the most confusing way to wake up ever. Try it sometime.

 

January 6, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — thisamericanlie @ 8:26 am
TAKE UR TOP OFF!!!

i think that Bike Lanes would be a pretty cool band name, it promotes green living which is really in right now.

I remember when life was much simpler. I was 24, I didn’t have a job, I lived in an attic.

 

December 22, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — thisamericanlie @ 6:53 am
The next tattoo I plan on getting will be a russian bear riding a unicycle wearing a shriner hat.

Free Achewood Tattoo

I was asking around about what kind of jobs are good for people who are blind. My roommate told me that apparently piano tuner is high on that list of jobs that are well suited to people who can’t see. I was thinking that sunglasses tester would also be high on that list.

 

December 16, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — thisamericanlie @ 10:49 pm

 

oh, okay.

oneohone

I used to draw comics my freshman year of college. I would put them up on my door and sometimes people would leave comments or throw them into the water fountain down the hall. I haven’t really improved artistically at all in 6 years. This is my life.

 

Oh hi. December 4, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — thisamericanlie @ 6:08 pm

its a memorial to dead porn stars.

i was amazed at how many died by jumping out of or off of buildings.